Let’s Just Talk like nobody’s listening

I don’t know why, but stimulating conversations move me. I’m talking about conversations that actually take effort, and not just the mindless chatter of our days. One of the fastest ways to get me out of touch is to starve me, mentally. Yes, I said it! Stimulating conversations are like food to my soul. Call me an idealist or what you may, but I cherish positive, thought-provoking, rich, purposeful, and deep conversations that just leaves me wondering; the possibilities of what could be, and come what may. You see, as someone who enjoys being mentally stimulated, you can’t expect to have a thriving relationship with me if conversations as such don’t move you in any sense. These are part of my wants, and in some cases my desires, as it evolves into the imaginations of anticipated foreplay. At times, I yearn for deep conversations and I actually get offended if it’s nowhere in sight.

It’s so hard to find quality conversations these days, and each time I come across one, they have me excited like I just hit the lottery. These conversations are like life to me, and I can count how many people in my life who have lived up to this expectation. I just enjoy discussions pertaining to life and its mysteries, behaviors, art, spirituality, anything that has to do with freedom, and most exciting of all impromptu prose. I pray for these things in a future partner, and I would desperately hope God sends that along indefinitely.

I once met someone who gave me the best conversations. We would talk for hours on end, we would share ideas and thoughts, inspirations never lived far from us. You see, they had a mind full of creative imaginations, and I would sometimes marvel at how easily they could slip into a creative disposition, baring their soul with just pen and paper. It was one of the most beautiful things I ever experienced. I enjoyed their presence in my life, they motivated me, and I looked forward to seeing them each time. And then one day, death took them away. I looked within for comfort and closure thereafter, then I discovered how writing and delving in the world of arts, will bring me into this blissful peaceful place. This place of rest where I can look within for answers still, while silently hoping and wishing I’d come across that delightful food for the soul—another deep conversation like no other. Silently waiting, secretly wishing that unintentional “hello’s”, and the lifeless “how are you’s’” will someday, at some point turn into meaningful greetings and purposeful questions indicating curiosity.

In the event that I meet someone who enjoys feeding me with these conversations, I propose that they would have already won my heart. Now, this may sound fickle, but trust me it’s much more complicated than that. You see, there’s a difference between purposeful deep genuine-interest-driven conversations versus i-just-want to-impress-you-boring-uninspired type of conversation. Fortunately, I can smell that from afar even before the first few words are uttered. Those are the type of conversations I tend to run away from, here you’ll probably get no text-backs, or late call backs or even day later email responses. Anyone who tries to engage me in these shallow uninspiring conversations is only paving the way for the death of our relationship, or whatever it is we have in common. To me, conversations matter. I look at it as an invitation, an invitation into one’s world. Deep conversations are just all I need at times, just someone to share inspired thoughts about the mysteries and understanding of life. This is where concrete intimacy is built, and to its greatest extent, we are held bound by the mysteries every word spoken relinquishes to our souls. Every word, every thought, every idea shared, we are always reminded of what it actually means to “talk” and “listen” with great intent, to just understand the other person. “Can two walk together if they don’t agree?” Amos 3:3

 

Don’t Rush “Forevers”

You meet someone, and you just hit it. There’s that celebrated “click”, so to say. That “click” that almost sends a raging gush of love-driven emotions down your soul as you finally let it sink in that you might have found “the one”. You know the one you have always wondered about. After reading, watching, and seeing all those media portrayal of cheesy romantic movies about what that perfect “one” would be like. Preconceived notions on who they are, where they’re from, how good you two should complement each other and the list goes on. Never stopping to think of how irrational the media has painted this unrealistic picture of who we should end up with, this isn’t in our dreams! They don’t exist! What a bummer! So what about the “click” the “sparks” the “butterflies”, don’t they count towards a slight conviction that we may be close to the real deal?

That “click” is just the beginning of something that could grow into something actually real. Screw the “Notebook”, “Sleepless in Seattle”, “Best Man”, these romantic movies are just a figment of someone’s imagination. We must be careful not to allow someone else’s dreams and notions of love interfere with what becomes “our reality”. Let’s learn to create our own love stories, embrace our own uniqueness and just let our realities lead us to “the one”. I am yet to meet anyone who is living the “Romantic-Movie story” if that even exists, I don’t want it. I want my own love story. You know the story that started unexpectedly, that if I had to reiterate it to my kids in the future, it’ll be like no other. A love story that is unique and all familiar to me.

So permit me for believing that the “click” is there to lead, to guide, to help us explore what the possibilities could be. When I meet someone, and there’s that “click” I feel like it’s a starting point. Anything beyond that “click” for the next few months will be devoted to measuring the compatibilities, to see if things fit. Anything rushed is never genuine, so I remain guarded, securing my doubt, withholding any past-accepted wisdom of “love”, as I venture into this unmarked territory of getting to know someone new. I try not to rush things; instead, I keep a steady pace that almost resembles that of a growing plant. The seed is planted; it needs healthy soil and a constant supply of water to help its growth. I like to take it slow, because if I have established that the “click” is there, then everything pretty much flows smoothly from that point on.

Forevers are nothing to be rushed. Many who tried rushing forevers found themselves back in the tumultuous arena of confusion of the mind. I once feared forevers, but now I am ready for it. I see it as a journey intended between my right “one” and me.  Whenever I feel that “click”, I let it lead me, I let it guide me, I let it show me whatever it is the other person wants me to see. Rushing forevers will never get me that unique love story, but letting my reality lead me to that ultimate love is where I am leaning. Forever is here, we all have to find it. Finding it with the right “one” is where the the story, the “click” and the “spark” begins..